just Beth

If you have read many of my blogs, you know I’m all about validation.  I will read things that popular authors or highly respected business leaders have said and will make the connections with what I have learned in my experiences.  It’s happened again.

On the Harvard Business Review’s website, Tony Schwartz talks about The Magic of Doing One Thing at a Time.  I was tempted to blow him off, as I sat checking my email, tweaking my to-do list, reading over The DriVen Class front page, all while being pulled to the listing of employers that are going to be at an upcoming Career Fair.  (I love my Apple Thunderbolt 27” Display, but perhaps it is contributing to my problem!)

But alas, I do have work to do, and if there is magic in doing one thing at the time, then I want to know about it!  So I read on, trying to focus on the one thing, and hoping for the magic.

Tony commanded me in his article to tell the truth!  And I love a good challenge.  Tony asks…

Do you answer email during conference calls (and sometimes even during calls with one other person)? Do you bring your laptop to meetings and then pretend you’re taking notes while you surf the net? Do you eat lunch at your desk? Do you make calls while you’re driving, and even send the occasional text, even though you know you shouldn’t?

Yes.  Yes.  Yes.  Yes, yes.  Sigh.

I’m having thoughts right now of trying to vacuum, water the plants, take out the trash, and cook dinner, all at the same time, bouncing back and forth.  That would be CRAZY!  But that is what I am doing when I have all these tasks spread out in front of me, and I try to do them all at the same time.  For some reason we think that if we are sitting still, then we must be able to do everything in front of us efficiently!  What silly, unthinking humans we can be!  (Pun intended.)

Some wise person once said that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over but expecting different results.  So it’s official – I am insane.  :p  But acknowledgment is the first step to improving, and as my therapy and training continues, here is an update on the magic – I’m not seeing it yet, but I am beginning to see the sparkles that herald it!!!

I was wondering what in the world I was going to say this week about my challenge.  It’s time for an update, a little reevaluation, about what I have done, where I am now, and where I am going.  The scenery hasn’t changed much except the logo in my classes says Keller instead of DeVry, and I have laid aside my technical textbooks in lieu of management scenarios and legal conundrums.

I am attending class onsite instead of in front of my computer though, and that is a big difference that has helped me over the last 6 weeks.  One of the resounding recommendations from all of my respected resources is to stop multitasking – do one thing for a specified amount of time, take breaks, and learn better focus.  Taking classes on site helps me with this.

One of my instructors, in my Leadership and Organizational Behavior class, has a no cell phone policy.  I had my little baby fit at first, my contumacious (a cool new word I learned in GM520!) tendencies rearing their ugly pointed heads, but I am behaving myself, sort of.  I do still have my computer and iPad out in front of me, but in my defense, I really am taking notes and reading my text, albeit with an email tab sitting there open.  It can be difficult while the class group presentations continue on and on with business problem scenarios, but I am learning to pay attention, and my grades reflect it.

In my Legal, Political, and Ethical Dimensions class (where I learned the cool word), my instructor doesn’t care what we do with our electronic devices, but it can be rather embarrassing to be asked to comment on a court case while texting my boyfriend.  I almost embarrassed myself in class the other day, coming really close to LOLing when he texted me that he had arrived home from a business trip.  So I’ll interrupt this seriousness to hopefully give you a giggle too with an excerpt from our conversation…

I am a firm believer in laughing loud and often, just not during class.  It can have an undesirable effect in certain situations.  Anyway, back to the magic.

In Tony’s article, he goes on to say that, “when you switch away from a primary task to do something else, you’re increasing the time it takes to finish that task by an average of 25 percent.”  (Emphasis mine.) Eek!

This is a great article, and I hope you will take a moment (during your break) and read it.  Cutting the time it takes to complete a task by 25% is a wonderful incentive!

Tap.  Tap.  Tap.  Can you feel the magic?  What do you do to magically reclaim time and become more efficient?

The learning never ceases.  I just earned my Bachelor of Science degree (BCIS), and now I’m on the road to my Master of Project Management degree (MPM).  But that’s enough about me; those are just letters.

I have a different perception, or definition if you will, of earning a degree now.  Completely different.  I used to think that it was all about the material.  Kind of like primary school – Reading, Writing, and Arithmetic – just at a higher and more intense level.  It is.  But it isn’t.  As we gain experience and education throughout our life, what is important is that we put them to good use.

I have come across many students who are frustrated with their performance; often because they are not doing as well in a course as they want.  They think I am being condescending when I smile at them.  But really, I am just happy to see they care.  Students like this will succeed in whatever they do, because they care.  I recently read an Oprah Winfrey quote in the email signature of a fellow student – “The big secret in life is that there is no big secret. Whatever your goal, you can get there if you’re willing to work.”  These frustrated students ARE working.  They are working hard.  They are DriVen.  Whether or not they get that good grade they are striving for, what they learn in the process is priceless!  And they will reach their goal!

“Every strikeout brings me one step closer to a home run.” – Babe Ruth

They are learning what they are good at, what is worth it, and what is not.  They don’t realize that the connections they make while seeking out help may very well be part of a foundation of support throughout their lives.  They don’t understand that in learning the material, they are also learning to be self-taught, to research, to be resourceful, to find their own way.  They don’t see the character they are building or the capacity to handle life and it’s challenges, and to handle them well!  When we think of it that way, we will see that the educational experience is just so much more than the storing and regurgitating of information.

Have you watched Grey’s Anatomy?  Remember Lexie?  She has a photographic memory.  It really comes in handy sometimes, but she doesn’t excel above the other doctors at all.  (I know, I know.  My boyfriend and I keep reminding each other that it’s not real.)  Even though Lexie can recall intricate details about the human body, medical procedures, and drugs and treatments, she is no better than the other doctors.  She still has to figure out how to use her knowledge, and she is not always that good at it.  She has to learn to share her information so that others with other skills can come together with her to save lives.  All the doctors have to learn to have confidence in themselves and to rely on the others as well.  And yes, that IS real life!

So, as I continue on my journey on this road called higher education, I see myself getting smaller and smaller but having more and more to contribute.

The more I learn, the more I realize I don’t know.
The wiser I become, the more I see wisdom in everything around me.
Being educated doesn’t make you smart.
Being smart doesn’t make you happy.

I believe that people who move forward through higher education do so BECAUSE they are driVen, not because they want to learn to be.  I think that reaching out to others to share our DriVe and passion is the mark of success and not an indicator that we haven’t arrived yet.  And as we move forward with our education, we learn that our satisfaction with ourselves grows proportionately with our capacity to empower others.

So as I work to earn my Masters degree, I see it as a representation of a journey of dedication and commitment, a quest and its culmination.  My degree opens doors, but in reality, it is what it represents that opens those doors, doors I never would have even known existed had it not been for the quest itself.

I will welcome the unexpected and follow my imagination, wherever it may lead.

Change is inevitable; it will happen whether we want it to or not. So I suppose that making New Year’s resolutions is our way of attempting to control the changes to some extent, to manage and direct them.

It is wise to stop occasionally and evaluate our lives, where we are, how we got here, and where we are going, in order to continue to manage the changes. So, now we are once again at the logical point to do that.

I have never been one to make New Year’s resolutions, and writing about it isn’t easy for me. It’s all been said and done before, and I like to be original. So I find myself in the same place that I have many times before – sitting here trying to put some words on the page. Every thought births another, and my list grows uncontrollably. So, I have decided to focus on one thing that I want to succeed at this year – writing. Writing is about discovering yourself. Writing is a representation of life.

I once wrote, a long time ago, “writing … builds our capacity for understanding the world that we are a part of and how we affect it, and our own inward parts as well. As we write, yes, we make a point to others, but more than that, we learn to understand our purpose and ourselves. It is like a map. We know where we live and know the routes to places, but when we pull up the satellite view of our “world” we understand it so much better. That’s what writing does. It creates a map, a changeable one, that allows us to see our existence, understand it, and tweak it.” Isn’t that what making resolutions is all about? Tweaking our lives?

So the writer in me is pondering where I want to go this year and how I am going to get there. I have compiled a short list of the habits I want to create for myself in the coming year. They are from the perspective of a writer, but they can be applied to life in general.

• I will create a doable schedule. I will be disciplined to keep to my schedule, but I will not give up if I don’t always reach my goals.
• I will nurture the creativity within me by embarking on new journeys without first knowing the destination.
• I will be an entertaining and inspiring writer, one that writes for the passion and adventure of the experience.
• I will write from my heart and go where my imagination takes me, as I welcome the unexpected in my writing.
• I will write the story prompted by my spirit – even if it is scary or makes me think I’m crazy.

These are very general goals, I know. They can’t really be quantified, and at the end of the year only I will know if I have succeeded. That’s ok though, because this is my life. On a more tangible level, I will start by researching writing resources that will help me cultivate my creativity, and I will draw on my fellow DriVen peeps for inspiration.

So as we ring in the New Year, what goals have you set for yourself? How will you begin your quest? Can The DriVen Class be a part? I hope so.

“One day in 1972 in my study on the third floor of my home in New Rochelle, I found myself staring at the wall. So I started to write about the wall.” – E. L. Doctorow

If you go to work or school day in and day out, just working for the weekend and the paycheck, or a passing grade, I submit to you that you may be on your way to better things.

I am sitting here working on a group assignment for my humanities class, thinking, “What is the point?” If it teaches me nothing else, it is that I need to listen to myself when I preach to my kids, and all of you, that education is important and that there is something to be learned from ANY class you take and experience you go through. Our team (with me following kicking and screaming along) decided to do an 8-week long research project on Permaculture in the UK. Can you say, “ICK!!!”? I have been siting here at my computer for the last 3 hours digging up sources, and the harder I work, the more bored I get. Every inch of progress I make I feel like I have wasted time that could have been better spent socializing or blogging (ALWAYS time better spent), or working out, or even doing laundry (yes, I hate this project THAT much)!!

So, here I am again, stopping to blog! As a way of drifting back into positive thoughts, I started reflecting on where I came from, so here’s some background on me, and hopefully some encouragement for you! And then I’ll wrap it up with some important takeaways.

Not too long ago I was trying, without much success, to enjoy my life. I was using my talents in technology to advertise my family’s small housing business – web sites, online marketing, email campaigns, etc. Some of the work could be fun, but most days I just wanted to be done so I could get back to talking with my cyber friends on a large Mac forum; I didn’t look forward to working at all. Truth be told, a lot of days I didn’t look forward to waking up! Then my life took a huge turn, spinning out of control, with my hands violently ripped off the wheel. (And don’t roll yours eyes at my drama until you read the rest of my story!)

Isn’t it funny how resistant we are to change even when we are miserable? I was forced (again, kicking and screaming) to change gears, and I’m just so glad that I did… now.

The housing market went belly-up, and in 2009 so did my small business and my marriage. At the same time my family experienced the month-long victory of my 7-year-old son beating a horrible illness that very few people live through, but that left a bill of $250,000. So, we declared bankruptcy and dumped 1 million dollars in debt, letting go of our house in the process. With my 2 children, the clothes on my back, and a 1997 Suburban, I walked away from my world.

After 10 years of hating my job, living on the edge emotionally, and trying to raise my children with a “let nothing stand in your way” attitude, I was tired. I was emotionally exhausted and mentally lethargic. Being the type of woman to take care of herself, but being out of my field for years and having an outdated skill set, I found myself shrouded in hopelessness and fear. I humbly turned to my parents.

Knowing that I wasn’t one to take advantage, they opened their home to me, and I went back to school. And here I am now, almost finished with my bachelor’s degree in computer information systems, working in social media, and complaining about a boring class project! (But, OK, yeah, I still look forward to the weekends with my awesome boyfriend!) Life is good!

I’m not telling you to quit your job and move into your parents’ basement. I am however hoping that you will learn from my experiences. There are two things I would like for you to think about after reading this:

#1 – Learn everything you possibly can from every experience in your life; everything has meaning. It will give you insight into ways of helping others (and even yourself), and lead you to a more fulfilled life. I am happier now than I have ever been, but there were times during this transition that it would have been easier to stop breathing. Now I can offer empathy and share joy in ways that I was never before capable. When I tell someone that I understand what they are going through, I really do. When I don’t understand, my capacity for caring and helping is still amazingly adequate. When I tell you “the light at the end of the tunnel may be you,” I mean it.

#2 – If you are feeling stuck and unfulfilled in your life, it is not impossible for you to change your course. If I can do it, restarting with nothing, you can do it too! I even had to receive food stamps for awhile (which was very humbling), but now I am on my way back to being a productive member of society! I have gone from being humbled to liberated. Take inventory of what you do have and pursue your options. Reach out to those who can help you. DeVry was awesome for me, compiling academic and financial resources, presenting them in a way that I could understand, and then helping me to formulate a workable plan. There are many other resources available too – The DriVen Class for one!

#3 – I know, I said 2, but I just had to add this. If you have been through monumental life restructuring like I have, you have a responsibility to help others. There is a reason for it. We must never fall into the trap of feeling guilty because we are finally successful or feeling inadequate because we can’t relate to what others are going through. The situations are different, but the emotions are the same, and the lessons lead to the same end. You and your story are very important.

The DriVen Class is here to encourage, inform, and empower one another. Let’s keep it up!

Do you have a story to tell? Empower others to step out and better their lives by giving your own personal tangible examples!
I am looking forward to telling my whole story once I get it all typed up, and in the mean time, I am now looking to finally replace that old suburban!

What are you doing right now and are you enjoying it? Are you currently satisfied being where you are? Or both? Where are you going? Do you see how your current activities and interests lead to other things? That during a season you are fulfilled, but then you reach for more or different? Have you thought about it?

I have found that when I’m relaxed and in a groove I will enjoy it for a time, but I eventually want something new to do. Then, after changing gears and being busier and more productive, I long for some down time. (Down time is productive too though; we just have to give ourselves permission to accept it!) I am happy and very grateful that I enjoy my professional and educational life – meeting and conversing with new people on campus and online, working on my database labs and participating in class discussions, even helping my son and daughter with their school work and life in general – but after a while, I need to get away for alone and quiet time so that I can recharge.

I have gone through this in seasons of my life too, not just in daily or weekly activities. After I received my associate’s degree years ago, I worked as a systems analyst for 14 years and loved it. I left that life to run my own business and home-school my children for about 10 years. Now I am at school again with two new career focuses, basically starting a new life back in my hometown, and loving every minute of it.

I used to think that getting the “itch” to improve my life or just move on to something new meant that what I had done in the past was somehow inadequate, or I had lost the meaning in my current “place,” but that’s not it at all. What it means is I am continuing to learn and improve my life and myself, and I am continually evolving into who I am. We all are.

No matter where we are or what we are doing, we are not finished and never will be. I watch my parents in their 80s and see their continued transformation and influence on others. In being given the amazing opportunity to discuss my parents’ lives with them, I am able to see the meaning in our experiences, no matter how insignificant or negative they may appear to be at the time. I am encouraged that what is current, is meaningful and productive, but even more than that, it is a solid foundation for a future that will be even more rewarding.

Seasons change, and there is a time for, and meaning in, everything. What are you doing with your life right now? Do you see who you are now as compared with your identity many or a few years back? And, back to the questions I asked at first, where are you going, or are you currently satisfied being where you are, or both? Do you see how your current activities and interests are leading to other things?

Discussions going on here.

My new job with DeVry, even though I haven’t started it yet, will involve blogging and so much more. I can’t wait to head to the Olympic Training Center in Colorado Springs with some people who I can already tell are going to be awesome to work with and to build positive relationships with. One of them just graduated from Keller yesterday and I feel very blessed to be meeting her soon. I am sure that we will all work well as a team and will enhance each others’ lives as we work to be the face of the DriVen Class.

Anyway, this is my first blog entry using just the iPad and a new app I just installed today. I am really enjoying learning how to use technology to reach out and communicate with others. I am also in the process of learning how to schedule and budget my time so that I am not feeling like because my devices are always with me that I have to always be using them to “work!”

Look out world, here I come!

Blogging is more fun when done together!

Kim and I are having a blast tweaking our blogs, linking to each other, setting up our social networking apps, helping and challenging each other along the way (there is a little friendly competition going on here) and learning new coding tricks. (Dawgs are good at learning new tricks, and this one is an excellent teacher as well!)

In this process I have noticed that blogging is like buying a car – you can be together every step of the way, but only one person can drive at the time… well, at least if you don’t want to end up with a disaster on your hands!

I recommend blogging for anyone who feels any pull towards it whatsoever. For me, it is very nice to be along for the ride. The scenery is ever-changing and frequently exhilarating, the experiences are completely controllable, and the company is beyond pleasant. One warning though – learning about yourself is inevitable.

(It’s nice to read; I had forgotten how much I enjoy it.)

I like Claudia. Not that she is selfish and will do whatever it takes to survive, but that she knows who she is and is driven to learn more about herself. Aren’t most of us selfish and intent on doing what is best for us, even if that is defined by a mandate from God? If we determine that we are here to help others, does that make us selfishly fulfilling ourselves when we carry out our purpose? (I am sure I have read that somewhere before; I know it is not an orignal thought of mine.)

Not that she is determined and stubborn, but that she is true to her self-defined purpose. “You’re either in or in the way.” -Ozzy Osbourne. She knows what she is and doesn’t deny it or apologize for it. Claudia embraces who she is, powerless to change it, thereby free to really live. She is not constantly struggling to change herself, but instead pushing forward to evolve into an understanding of life. We all need to have a purpose, and it can’t be to just eat (satisfy the flesh?) and avoid the sun (Son?). Vampire struggles are human struggles. (I know… I’m catching up.)

Not that she loves for the right reasons, but that she does so without the fear of rejection. She goes with her impulses and then later studies why she has such impulses, but doesn’t linger on regrets, only damage control. I like that. She and the man she loves are on the inside; all others are on the outside – that is a fundamental and unchangeable law, so there is no worry that it can be violated. Interaction and interference is controllable and only food for thought (pardon the pun).

Anyway, I guess this just goes to show that we can learn about ourselves in anything that we will allow to teach us.

I am grateful for time to think and read and write. I miss my own companion like air. It’s like alcohol or drugs. They make us see and experience things differently than we normally would, but when that journey is over, we don’t want the opportunity to present itself again. I am stronger than I think I am, but I am also weaker – right now, hiding from the sun and not wanting to eat.

I have been extremely busy with school and having a real life lately, which is a very good thing, but I have been neglecting my writing.  Let the procrastination continue… or procrastination avoidance; both seem accurate depending on how I look at it or maybe my mood.

I am looking for employment now and constantly seem to be updating my resume.  Also for my job search I am attempting to come up with a personal business card, complete with a slogan, which has me doing even more self-analysis.  I always want to write when I am back in the self-analysis mode, my skills, my education, my life.  Me. Me. Me.  Ugh.  It’s kinda like dieting – the more you want to avoid food the more you find yourself thinking about it.  I have learned so much about myself over the last couple of years, but I have also learned that I can be very selfish and self-absorbed, thinking I was just the opposite.  I find myself wondering more and more if I see reality, or do I just make it up as I go along?  Well, no time to philosophize right now, but I am sure I’ll have many more conversations with myself about myself soon.

Time to finish up this business card.  I like swords, but images associated with violence may not represent me accurately, as least not as far as how I would like potential employers to see me anyway.  And that brings me to – how much of myself is it OK to reveal on a public blog?  Ha ha.  Meh.  I’m probably giving too much thought again to my self-importance… wait, that’s the very definition of the word.  Can you say circular obsession?  Whosh…

# of I’s in this post = 21
# of myself’s = 6
I guess it is all about me.  … attempting to remedy that … please stay tuned.

My fascination with this “playground of anachronism” started when I was looking for a shirt with wings on it on ThinkGeek.com. I found one that said “Steampunk Angel” with really cool mechanical wings complete with a pressure gauge. Not wanting to purposefully invite abuse to myself by either having an insult printed on my chest (some people do those kinds of things), or by not being able to answer should someone actually read my shirt and probe me as to what it meant, I looked it up.

According to the Urban Dictionary, which everyone who is anyone knows is where to go to find the real meanings of things and maybe also the definition of life itself,

Steampunk is a subgenre of fantasy and speculative fiction that came into prominence in the 1980s and early 1990s. The term denotes works set in an era or world where STEAM POWER is still widely used—usually the 19th century, and often set in Victorian era England—but with prominent elements of either science fiction or fantasy, such as fictional technological inventions like those found in the works of H. G. Wells and Jules Verne, or real technological developments like the computer occurring at an earlier date.

OK.   Cool.

Today I found a blog that calls itself The Steampunk Home, which is pretty much just showing off the “style” derived from too many visits to the aforementioned playground.

I’m beginning to really like SOME of this stuff.

Nice room. Kinda makes my brain hurt, even though I'm not thinking anything.

$18K for a TABLE???? Do want. Looks like it may allow for more interesting activities than your normal everyday dining room table.

What is this? Looks a little scary. Probably goes with the table.

Cool light... I mean, lights. :p

Computers, since that is what life always has been and always will be about. Interesting concept since an oil lamp is necessary for lighting at this point. Glossy or matte?

Steampunk? Maybe. Creepy? Definitely.